Let’s get back to writing

I’m in my second year of university doing tourism and had a girlfriend for a month :)) atleast I have that going for me. Got a internship in America but I will only decide after i review the contract .

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Hello :)

Mhm remembering was never a favorite part of me being a human being.This time last year i  didn’t really socialize with people not so much now , and i had the people in my flat which mainly was the only social contact i had with people , i saw some Romanian’s at the time i do remember but  didn’t talk to them . I had never felt the reason to  talk to them mainly because most of the experience’s one woman had with Romanians was bad , that was the woman i went to in London 3 years ago all’so what my mother went through with romanian’s working in fields in germany spain .

However i really felt no need to talk to them i was used to English much more then they were since i was  speaking it from 8 years old ,  and was mostly sure they listen to a bad sort of Romanian music one that i hate manea gypsy music.

So for now i won’t speak to them , my way of thinking said , moving on i think i had my first essay which i took recently ok over 40 but that’s the pass limit , never really pushed myself properly to study .  And my birthday came up in November , and i went to Newcastle it was quite shit .

The place i went was a club some where that had a cluster of clubs don’t know where it was   can’t really remember , may had had some fun , had loads of hot girls around me , and  it was still pathetic  , had needed to have fun to socialize with girls to make one laugh to have something good happen on my birthday but nothing  happened really , real like is much more boring then normal for me .

Now was December close to Christmas my laptop was broken , and for some one who barely socialize and i forgot to mention because i couldn’t really spend any money i had limited myself like i did since i was a kid to not spend money on me and have it for tough time. Back to the point it was broke what would i do for 1 month what would i do on Christmas what would i do for new years not even internet nothing at all .

Had i think another week or two i kept going to the library to finish my essay and stuff , left my computer once in the night and then i lost all my work for my essay ,  i did it in 6 hours another 6 were left , being lazy does not help and neither make you happy , anger and the feeling of trying so pathetically at something brought memories from my childhood , the same feelings at the time , also i had felt strange physical my head felt weird and i might have been with a bad cold ( the accommodation for which i paid 89£ a week refused to fix my heater).

I had rewrote it submitted it and went to school and after i had to present some sort of poster . I had mentioned in class that i broke my laptop and i would be thankful to the person who  could lend me one  one woman and one girl said yeah first said shure i think my kid won’t mind for  1 month , while the other said yeah il get it tomorrow . I let a couple of day’s pass by and  the woman said yea yea il get it for you , the girl said what do you want i have things on my mind i forgot it it’s not the first thing i get when i leave the house. Shortly after that i sent her a facebook message  and she didn’t reply  . I was getting desperate as i had no money even to go and drink somewhere i was living at the time with 10 pounds a month for food .

The only thing i had left to do was to leave a status on facebook asking if anyone was willing to borrow me a laptop , one woman said yes from my class when i got to school she gave it to me .

Shortly after class  when i said i will give it back to her as soon as we meet after Christmas she said don’t worry about it it’s your present. I was very happy i had something to watch stuff on and maybe forget a little .

I had mentioned to my flat mates that  i  will move my bed to the living room to sleep , then i was half asleep in the kitchen hearing them ask why would i do that between them , didn’t really bother i had spent the following Christmas and  New Year on the floor in the kitchen on the rug with my duve watching some american show Jon Stewart and maybe some Christmas Movies.

Felt lonely and sad and i remembered some moments of short acceptance in life where i was kind of happy and content with my moment in life while but also remembering how my friends disappointed  me when i wanted to have my birthday somewhere and they just made themselves unavailable, all this while eating my chinese noodels with sweet mustard sauce from aldi and peas .

New Years day was on i felt nothing exactly 6 hours before i was left without internet , and i went to the computer room  . I had no money to go home so then i was stuck in a room streaming something and hearing fireworks and just remembering past experience that’s all that i could do is just relive feelings solid feelings and be unhappy and sad.  I knew it just went away one year of suffering and another came .

Keep posted maybe soon enough il finish this and get you all back to speed 😛 .

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Wait for me

Il write something in the following days i  will try to take it bit by bit a lot of  thing’s happen in an year .

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Hello :)

I am here for some reason , i have made it for some reason but i feel that i am not happy. How about i follow-up and tell you what has happened up untill now.

I have passed the exams all of them , i have to recall some facts that have placed themselves in my mind to take hold for ever.

During my Ielts exam i was at this quite pleasuring hotel with a nice architecture but i am afraid it was only on the outside that was pleasant . I seemed to address the reception quite dignified for the reason that i was there . I s at and waited for about an hour i should say that having my new smart phone was some sort of consolation but the fact that i had no internet was not . More people gathered and finally we were to start going to the rooms , our names were displayed , it was quite frantic to find your name , we  were in quite a hurry i had panicked that i had not found my name that some mistake might have been made , but not to worry i had found it . We got to the door and a  hot broad as the new york-ers where she had explained that there are to be no papers on us meaning writing paper or anything else except pens and identification. Got in and 2 minutes after 2 girls arrived i was  stressed as it was thinking like always i will fail , and those 2 girls were denied entry as they have arrived too late, the sight of seeing their shadows fall to their knees through a stained glass door.

We started the exam it was quite interesting and very strict as for the results they were good and bad , but i still got in to Sunderland .I’m trying not to share to quickly what’s happening to me right now , but my brain tell’s me something else even so we must go on with the story.

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Just Somthin

eu m-am trezit super de dimineata cred am completat un formular pe care l-am gresit
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:26:10): am plecat in petrosani
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:26:41): am fost pe la un angro am auzit cum ii viata unui om , defapt fata unei prietene de copilarie a mamei care ii cerea bani la faculta pentru un examen
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:26:46): fapt ce nu ma surprinde
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:26:48): si
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:26:52): am cumparat ce traba
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:26:56): alte chesti nu am luat
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:27:04): venise garda / fiscu ce o fi
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:27:06): inspectie dinaia
miss_teddybear(12/07/2011 21:27:14): ce aventura
miss_teddybear(12/07/2011 21:27:15): asa.
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:27:43): eh o descriu eu aventura oricine poate sa faca asta dar nu mentioneaza ei lucrurile marunte ca din asta ii facuta viata alea extraordinare is doar culmile unor aventuri
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:28:02): revenind
miss_teddybear(12/07/2011 21:28:06): ce frumos!
miss_teddybear(12/07/2011 21:28:10): imi place cum gandesti
miss_teddybear (12/07/2011 21:28:25): trebuie sa fie optimismul omului care stie ca il asteapta paradisul peste cat…o luna
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:29:05): heh is cel mai twisted mental acuma dar proabil astai o faza dar sa ramanem la poveste decat la psihologie
miss_teddybear(12/07/2011 21:29:17): daa scuze
miss_teddybear(12/07/2011 21:29:19): povesteste
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:29:26): cumparam ce traba
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:30:22): duc telefonu la cosmote , mentionand ca el so stricat , nu l-am stricat eu doar l-am bagat umpic in apa si l-am scos rapid , el fiind rezistent la apa , nu impermeabil doar rezistent oricum so stricat , sa facut condens si o facut bubu
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:30:46): il duc pe drum in cap , si vorbesc cu ai mei ce ii zic , ii zic cum povestete, dar in contract scrie daca gaseste orice urma de umezeala anuleaza garantia
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:31:10): ma gandesc ce fac ce zic ce mint , caci omu ii permanent in nevoia ori de a insela ori de a se proteja ori de a dobandi porcari dinastea evidente
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:31:31): ajung zic ca nu merge scrie acolo si imi zice ca primesc peste 2 saptamani
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:31:44): rezultatu neclar sa vada cei de la bucuresti
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:31:53): merg inapoi spre masina
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:31:59): ea parcata cam departe
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:32:05): in mana aveam o plasa cu acte
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:32:07): formulare
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:32:15): si factura de la cosmote pt telefon
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:32:49): inspre masina ne oprim cumparam 2 plicuri
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:33:00): zic 2 findca ma asteptam sa gresesc pe primu ceva
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:33:18): si un pix din aluminiu, tare mandru , tare rece , perfect deocamdata pana ii rup ceva
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:33:54): merg la masina le sortez cam grabit , taicameo grabinduse sa mearga cu mama, sa duca pe o prietena de familie si covoarele ei contra cost desigur
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:34:03): oh si grabinduse sa mearga si la munca
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:34:12): le iau si pornesc pe caldura o distanta destul de mare
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:34:24): spre un curier rapid
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:34:44): cumva ajung printr-un loc plin de tigani , avand si numele potrivit Colonia
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:35:44): ajung in fata vad un om mai grasut la fata cu ochelari cam plictisit intr-un camion(soferu)
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:36:04): intru mai inauntru in ” curtea” aia si ma intreb pe unde sa intru , mai fiind doar o data sa ridic un colet
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:36:30): vad pe o fata draguta , unde mai apare inca o fata amandoua precizand pe aici pe aici !
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:36:46): intru imi cere numele si unde vreau sa il trimit
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:36:53): ma intreaba unde vreau sa ajunga si cine platesc
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:36:57): eu !
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:37:37): scriu adresa , ele zicandu-mi ca nu am nevoie sa scriu ca eu il trimit
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:37:47): lapsus
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:37:56): ca ii destinatar si partea aialalta
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:38:11): dar eu ingrijorat cu fata cumva imi scrie o tipa pe o parte emitator si numele meu
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:38:29): imi precizeaza cat ma costa 17 ron
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:38:41): ii platesc in 2 bacnote de 10 ron , neavand schimbat
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:39:01): primesc restu si plec umpic doubtfull( lack of romanian word in the brain)
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:39:16): ma gandeam ca ” documentu” ala care l-am gresit nu l-am inlocuit
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:39:38): merg ce merg si iar simt caldura ma gandeam oare ar fi bine sa iau taxi-u pana acas
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:39:59): ma costa 7 lei dar cel putin nu traba sa merg atata si sa stau atat prin oras
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:40:07): aleg optiunea mai ieftina
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:40:10): un suc la doza
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:40:23): intru scot bani ii multumesc ca imi ia bani
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:40:28): ii mai multumesc ca imi da doza
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:40:33): merg incet spre parc
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:40:47): indoiala ca eu as fi completat bine documentele cu cel corect
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:40:51): iar imi cuprinde creieru si gandu
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:41:04): termin doza de baut incerc sa o strivesc cu mana
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:41:14): o tanti langa mine vorbea langa telefon asa ca ma opresc
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:41:32): merg la un cos o pun jos o strivesc rapid si fara sunet cu picioru cat de silent pot
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:41:39): si plec incet spre statie
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:41:56): sperand ca nu am gresit documentele
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:42:03): ajung imi dau seama ca telefonu mi stricat si
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:42:18): o sa fiu probabil sunat de la agentia de curierat ca deobicei asa se intampla
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:42:34): si ma uit prin casa dupa telefonu stricat , care ma gandeam ca poate o merge
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:42:50): nu merge , nemultumit , merg ii explic la mama ca am nevoie sa imi imprumute telefonu ei pana
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:43:01): termin cu bucurestiu
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:43:11): si ii il dau inapoi , avand sa imi iau altu din anglia
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:43:18): primesc un sms de ieri
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:43:33): prin care imi zice secretara sa vin sa imi iau diploma de bacalaureat
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:43:49): asta fiind la 12
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:43:55): la 3 45 ajung
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:44:04): mama imi zice sa ii cumpar ceva , gen tort de inghetat unu ieftin
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:44:17): eu norocos mai aveam bani ne cheltuindui pe toti m-am gandit sa iau ceva umpic mai scump scria 11 lei
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:44:25): defapt cred ca atata era kg sau mai mult dumnezeu stie
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:44:35): am platit 26 de lei sau ceva si am mai ramas cu 5 lei
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:44:52): vazand asta la casiera am zis fuck it
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:45:28): am intrat prima data nu am gasito la secretariat si mergi jos si intreaba si dupa aia urci sus cand era intr-o clasa singura cu usa deschisa
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:45:48): care eu nu m-am gandit sa o verific ca poate is muncitori si nu imi plac ochi aia ciudati care ii fac cand intra cineva intr-o camera
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:46:07): dar o gasesc pe secretara cu alta secretara si prof de info , contabila ect
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:46:48): sarumana v-am adus niste inghetata, ea sa uita sa umpic ma nu trabuia , imi iau foaia matricola pe 2 ani ( am nevoie de ea ) si diploma de bacalaureat
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:47:27): mancam umpic de inghetata , ii multumesc ea razand , mentionand-ui celeilalte secretare ca “El o cumparato si imi multumeste ”
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:48:06): mai zic de planuri de ce am de gand mai povestesc de mama , si plec intr-un sfarsit cand vad ca astrang lucrurile si zic ca au stat destul sa elibereze diplome
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:48:28): si vin acasa si am stat pana acumdestul de plina in prima parte a zilei
ADYY (12/07/2011 21:56:37): sper ca te-am adormit

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Socializing is still a mystery to me , i like to socialize and have become a bit submissive. I try not to fight with anyone , i find that socializing is really important  to me, i could live without it but i would rather have it . But i have encountered a person a girl , now don’t start i have never been in love and no girl has ever loved me , and this is not about that. Basically in the beginning i was having fun i was happy i made some new friends and after some time . somehow we started quarrelling and it ramped up , she was so nervous some day’s i wasn’t sure what to believe ,and then she was annoyed by the fact that when we talked i sometimes repeated some stuff and how   it was annoying and now i  don’t really care , but i hate to part way’s with  someone knowing that i failed to be a good person or try to make a friendship work for as long as i can. Eh ill bury the bloody thing well in the past im done some people just can’t frakin keep a secret.


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Ah jesus ,life is hard. I have had a stupid week and a half , with a pneumonia, losing my voice , and having to take out the nerves from one tooth , not pretty. So to forward this a bit i have been accepted to 5 Universities , and chose 2 , one as a first choice Bradford and the second Sunderland.

I took an English test for Sunderland(waiting for the result , waiting time is 2 moths ) , and I’ll take IELTS in may. I hope to got i took the first test , i made some mistakes with writing a essay and i think a letter. Eh i tried , but that is no excuse for the fact that i was ill prepared again , i hated that so much.

Right now i really have to go to school i missed about 7 day’s of school and well by even romanian standards that isn’t much but i hate to miss opportunities to get a good grade. I’m afraid that i will have to fight with my stupid classmates to not skip school because in there stupid minds they think if we all leave no one will register us in the catalogue as skipping school , teacher’s repeatedly said that if we all skip school we al get registered as skipping school in the catalogue.

I hate this country.

Oh and PS: IELTS payments options suck! I got stuck at a bank with my bad back and a tooth ake for an hour and a half  talking to that lady that i need a form to pay for the exam and on the Ielts website the British Council Website there was no Payment form SO all that time and nerves and pain for going on about like i was trying to pay my taxes , couse that ‘s what happens in romania you go from a to b to c and they all say a different thing .If i wanted to feel like i was paying my taxes i would have done that , i can not belive that i was addressing a company that has it’s roots in England.

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